Trust me, I wear more condoms than socks. I wouldn't risk infecting my cock. It's my livelyhood.
The best thing happened. Some guy was butchering Conway Twitty at karoke and the power went off in the whole bar. And someone shouted "you pissed jesus off when you messed with conway!"
don't look now, but that cross eyed girl is staring at you... and me.
there's chicken and sequins in our bathroom sink. part of me almost wants to know what happened
im not an educated person. i just do things. and it works out in my favor
she refused to get out of the dog cage till we sang "be our guest" to her.
I brought up my Bobbly Flay drinking game in the interview. Of course I got the job.
After we smoked, the cops questioned us but i just asked if he wanted to join our basketball team.
He calls it "his noble steed" and i plan to ride it.
I make your heart skip a beat like that pivotal moment when you open a public toilet lid
It's like a teen mom casting at the Obgyn's office. I feel great about my positive life decisions.
Sign she's a keeper: "I would rather be late to brunch than waste a perfectly good boner."
I can't get over how you look like his sister and he wants to fuck you.
but I have boobs. I'm not going to buy my own drinks at the bar like some kind of fucking animal.
My vagina: 1 Male stubborness: 0
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