WAKE UP. GET ME THE PILL. AND SAVE MY LIFE
She was kinda tragic... like a puppy that runs into things. Cute but really stupid. So, yeah, I hit it.
The nurse told me they're using the same medicine that killed michael jackson.
cat food counts as protein by the way
I just found out my mom named me after her fake ID from college...
It's like I'm in a vicious cycle of noncommittal penis.
A guy just washed his hands in the toilet. No joke
Know what's awesome? Flying a mini helicopter while you shit.
In related news... Actually, nope. I don't have any orgy-related news. You win.
yeah she's crazy. she fought a possum in my alley because it was "being a cagey little cunt"
He ripped down his Kate Upton poster while we were having sex last night. Im gonna take that as a good sign.
Vodka and cigarettes aside, my body is a temple.
We've been watching Scooby Doo and having sex for the past 36 hours, so life is great
There is a time and place for BDSM, in-between disney sing-alongs is not one of them.
If a guy makes a dick joke within 24 hrs of matching am I just setting myself up for disaster if I say yes to a date lol
Randomize
