oh my god. my mom just found my pipe. she thought it was a dildo.
like i said, there should be a sitcom about your family.
so after morning sex, she rolled a joint and turned on sports center
you might have found the rare bro goddess. i thought they were myth
so i used to love airports for the escalators... now its the bars... then the escalators after the bars
Spent the last thirty minutes staring at the wall with Leah. It's definitly moving
all i wanted was to be slutty. now i'm meeting him for drinks tomorrow because he woke up before i had a chance to sneak out and was too polite to say no
For your information i will be shotgunning whiskey on may 21st.
I had a great time except for the part where you called another guy, told him you were in a cab - not on a date - and that you'd meet him at a bar in 15 minutes. but besides that it was awesome. Next time capping you at two glasses of wine
I'm the only one who goes to a bar and leaves with an extra twenty bucks and a pumpkin.
After that song played in the club all he kept drunkenly saying was "Birdman goes brrrrrr"
I got inside last night via doggy door
So you don't take a regular pic with her, but you take a selfie with her ass. Interesting...
Christ I forgot how flexible you need to be for a decent sext pic. Jesus.
I made her pull the car over 5 times to puke because she was going to fast, apparently she was only going 30mph...
It's difficult when the romantic and the hedonist in me are fighting. I want him to respect me and hopefully pursue an actual relationship, but then I remember he fucks like a GOD and loves my kink. Oh, life's hard.
I get so pissed when there is something that NEEDS to be made fun of and you're not here.
Randomize
