My grandmother just explained bulimia to me as a diet
The whole way homeyou were flapping your arms up and down, and when I asked why you said you were trying to tell Tony Danza about the angels.
i can't believe he got me to come over to him by waving a natty light at me.
But sometimes ur dick treats me better than u do
This lady in my dui class just asked what patron was. I feel like she doesn't belong here
dude, it should not be this hard to find a bottomless mimosa on a friday morning
just got the results back. i love his dick even more now i know its clean
I really just want to stuff him in my purse, take him home, feed him pudding or applesauce and brush his hair. That's not creepy, right?
I'm having mini little movies in my head. Like for example. You were talking to a blue whale with jazz man sunglasses, but not the ray charles jazz sunglass. More like sunglasses that are round. Anyway, he has a baguette and stupid french hat. And you , you had your harry potter glasses.
Personally, if my roommate had a nice friend who made me dinner, gave me free beer, a 4am meal, a couch to sleep on in an apartment on the beach, and breakfast when I woke up, and I found out that said roommate was fucking her, I'd be all... right on! She's cool! Thanks for the quesadillas!
I woke up to my bra draped over his lamp and a huge bump on my head. apparently, I face planted while having sex in the shower..
I've never had someone have to dis-arm themselves before I sucked their dick prior to that
We fucked. Had a political debate. I won. So I sat on his face.
Cum just came out of my nose. That is all.
Thanks for fucking the skin off my dick
It was a joint effort between my vagina my feet and your hand you can't just blame that all on me
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