Twist it, pull it, flick it... Bop it was like the first time I touched myself.
If we keep treating our bodies like amusement parks we have another 10 years left at best.
The most interesting things happen to you when your pants come down. I truly envy you.
She has never blacked out. I have tried to get her to so many times. Apparently it's a lot harder than we make it out to be.
just tripped. bootyfest 2012 will be my engagement party. i saw the whole future. i'm moving to the beach.
No that means he must've used the nipple clamps
You can't call dibs 8 years later.
just watched a cripple ollie in his wheelchair to get on to the elevated floor in the bar. I. LOVE. WISCONSIN
I've liked him since I puked on him on my birthday so I want it to be special.
Two women at the Safeway just got out of their separate cars and kissed. One was driving an outback, the other a CRV. It was like a Honda and Subaru had a lesbian joint venture and filmed the commercial in front of me.
Day two of not drinking, I think my cat is trying to eat me.
Psychosis secondary to sobriety???
I swear to the sweet baby jesus I didn't fill your freezer with salsa and my little pony toys, but I didn't stop them either.
I just love that a strip club has taco Tuesday.
Don’t worry I was with my ex husband for 10 years and he could never remember the year I was born, when our dating anniversary was or what year I graduated high school. But I still know that mother fuckers SSN lol
...blackout vacation is awesome. Where did you end up? I think i'm in Miami.
Hospital.
Randomize
