god. i hate danny gokey.
Hes like the kid in school that reminds the teacher they forgot to assign homeowrk.
he's mormon right? lame.
So I said to her: one time i broke my dick and when they took off the cast i could cum across a baseball field
I just saw my grandmother naked. again. this needs to stop now.
you know how i said i wouldn't send that pic message of your lofted bed falling from you fucking a fat chick? that was after i sent it to your mom
The only pictures he has from one of the biggest football weekends is an album titled "I miss my dog" filled with tons of pictures of his dog and him. This relationship must end.
What happened on tuesday that a stripper knows my full name?
when i came out to my mom, it was over brunch. i was eating a banana. not exactly my smartest breakfast choice.
As added birth control I warned him that if he knocked me up tonight I would name the baby Truck.
I got a dollar bill stuffed into my bra on two separate occasions by two separate guys simply for having boobs. I feel like somewhere god is patting himself on te back while pointing at me goin "you're welcome dude." easiest two bucks I ever made.
Please tell me joes at work safe and sound and doesn't smell like jail?
rigging a system to keep my jello shots cold in class. important election day work.
Just made a beer run. At 9am. In my pjs. I should not be graduating today
Regret, thy taste is box wine.
Had a slight melanoma scare this morning. Spoiler alert, it was Nutella.
The sex was so good we high-fived after.
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