He said if I stayed the night he'd take me to church in the morning.
At the bar dressed as a taco. not a typo. Come down.
What's the wine called that we really like and we usually drink it with xanax?
Found a dirty envelope on my seat w ur name and $122.50 written on the front. Nothing inside but what looks like dirty pine needles
Well, it's either jungle juice or memory of the night... It's unfortunate I can't have both
You leave me no choice. Your vagina is grounded. It can just sit there and think about what it's done.
Dude, just be careful. Her invitation for BJ is just a trap for her to stick her finger up your ass.
it was a frathouse cornucopia of foul mixed drinks and "sangria", which im convinced was blood and pcp
sleeping in bed with your booty calls married sister...you're the stuff heroes are made of.
Safe to say I'm terrified but totally AMPED
One of the finest moments in my life was when I was puking in between my legs as I was shitting, and thought to myself "hmm this shall be called shomiting."
These last few days with George, grandma, and now Carrie all dying have been pushing me further and further into rum's sweet embrace.
he was Irish, I had to have sex with him.
You were so drunk Last night you asked for your glasses so you could read the directions on a band aid
You ran the halls of the dorm naked handing out condoms. You were the sex fairy. Best you can do if you're not getting laid.
Randomize