Even my Mr Clean Magic Eraser can't make last night disappear.
She is the perfect woman. She cooks, gives good head and doesn't care that I have a small penis.
There was a canoe full of alcohol. It was literally a boat load of fun
If our dicks could shake hands in congratulations they would
Does he not understand that naked slip and slide needs supervision after dark?!
What a great world we live in when USPS can tell you that your drugs have been delivered.
Today, my boyfriend informed me that I look like my dad when I orgasm
I'm working on finding a bottomless situation. Both pants and mimosas.
I forgive you, at least you vote. I found out my fuck buddy isn't even registered. I won't fuck a non respectable citizen.
I think the exact words were 'I'd lett him to the weirdest shit to me'
He wants to make me arch my back "like I'm having an exorcism". Not sure if I'm turned on or freaked out.
Life goal: sit on his perfect beautiful David Archuleta-lookalike face
REMEBER. We are young, horny, and poor. If someone wants to give us alcohol... TAKE. IT.
If I had your ass I would rule the world
Last time I went to flagstaff I threw up in my beard. I would very much like to recreate that moment.
DO IT!
Randomize
