it was all good till he told me to dance slow and quiet
dude, my face is all kinds of fucked up right now. and don't even start with i told you so...
moving back to school this early was a terrible idea we already used up our bail fund
I just witnessed someone getting head in the parking garage. Don't ever tell me Baylor is too conservative again.
After he told me that it's up to him to carry on his family name, I almost felt bad for not letting him cum inside me.
oh but the power of the cock will take you to places you never been..i flew to hawaii once to sleep witha chick
Theres a fat guy wearing a speedo. Someone just got puked on, and didnt even react. Whats happening?
Question: would asking the hot guy from the grocery store to "beer me" his number be a poor decision?
Well it's official... The first guy I ever gave head to now holds 2 world records. Should I text him asking if I can try and break my record?
I masturbated to my balding thirty-something co-worker last night. I am a new level of lonely.
There are both cum and chocolate stains on my sheets. Can't decide whether this is a new low or a new high.
It's technically 2016 but since I haven't gone to bed I'm still counting it as 2015, so I'm gonna drink all the alcohol in my house so tomorrow I can become the better version of myself that I'll be for 5 minutes.
Sigh. I haven't seen a dick since August 22nd. And in case you forgot, it's January.
Apparently I handcuffed myself to the dishwasher...
DO NOT PREHEAT THE OVEN THIS MORNING! WE STARTED USING IT AS A WINE STASH AROUND MIDNIGHT.
Randomize
