If I had a nickel for every time I've used a condom, I'd have... two nickels.
so how does one go about finding a summer fling?
take advantage of an intern
I hope this doesn't change things. I feel that me being a minor made it more exciting.
So where are we on this whole, you write my paper...i do sexual favors situation?
he came within less than a minute of me blowing him. this was our second night hanging out in a row. for an almost 30 year old italian man, he is NOT living up to his country's reputation
I got lit on fire and andy went to jail last night. Totally unrelated incidents though.
I never thought your mom would see me throwing up on my hands and knees in your front yard
Also, what is a socially acceptable way to introduce a crossbow in public?
Got into Princeton. So excited about the mommy-issue-over-achieving-cock I get to ride the next 4 years!!!
Can you pick up from work today? There's a surprise for you on the bed and I haven't gone blind which is positive.
Last night all you did was whine about how you needed something new and exciting
Is THAT why I woke up with dreadlocks?
You must be buzzed on Miller Lite.. Zen master advice is flowing
I was fed cake in bed and then was pinned down and ridden till I came. And then fed more cake. I'm going to marry Brad. I'll put money on it.
He and I are in a competition of who can sleep with the most people at work. We're tied at two. I could win this if they'd stop hiring damn straight girls.
Dear god my vagina.
Randomize
