I totally understand Scottish logic. No underwear+skirt=great
After he proceded to violently molest my tits until 9 am i snuck out of his room only to meet his mother downstairs, who informed me she heard the giant sexfest going on in the room next to them.. this was before she called us both "chickenshits".. worst walk of shame ever.
I just came up with the perfect plan. Once i'm a dentist i'm going to offer dad a million dollars to divorce mom.
Don't worry. I just took 2 benadryls and beat off. I'm practically sleep texting
i deep throated a ruler to see what my limit was...
She's never going to forget it... Christmas Anal.
Just so you know you don't have to worry about me picking up any guys tonight. The Hilton is hosting guests from the North American Gay Volleyball Association and the Comic Palooza
On a scale of your daily life to smuggling crack into the DR, how illegal is it?
I'd rather just be alone, than deal with this bullshit. I just want to be alone. Cats and vibrators never let you down.
Please stop hiding condoms in my house. If I want to have sex with you, I will let you know. FYI, my mom found the ones hidden behind the milk. She was not happy.
I literally just wiped coffee off of the corner of my mouth with my boob because my hands were full. Thought youd be proud. Good morning!
So he says "my girlfriends coming over so you have to leave but I love you"
what's your room number? I've never been there sober...
I'm not sure how long my penis is exactly, but I will tell you it resembles a bendy straw
Don't know where this pizza came from but i got breakfast in bed
Randomize
