dude, your ex-bf is on match.com
details on that.
well, his profile doesn't say anything about herpes.
Going back to college after four years is reminding me why i love cheating... they dont let me cheat on tests but they sure try hard to make me cheat on my girl
There are the 2 BIGGEST tools by me-- at our table. I hate them. But they're not ugly and I may make out with them later. And hate myself. Definitely hate myself.
Umm ok I'm kinda freaked out right now bc the chick that lives next door is either having tantric sex or slowly suffocating her dog to death.
I'm so used to throwing up its no longer a game of hanging over the toilet. Now it's just 'stand up, aim for the toilet, do my thing' then walk out
You're putting the star player on the bench. You dont put Michael Jordan on the bench.
Are you referring to my vagina as Michael Jordan?
he attacked my vagina with the force of a thousand suns
Here is a brilliant idea passed on from men who have that same regret. WEAR A FUCKING CONDOM ALWAYS.
Lmfao I'm not trying to have a pissing contest over acid with my mom.....
i'm not sure what happened last night.. i do remember the police calling me to find out where i was because apparently at some point i went missing? don't worry though. they found me
A party without a piñata is not a party I want to attend.
At first it will make you think "how is this physically possible?" and then it will ruin an entire food group for you.
For future reference: When the bouncer is approaching you to remove you from his bar, you don't respond by taking off your pants.
we thought it would be safer to lock you in the car alone downtown than take you back home to pass out
oh.. my GOD my dad just text me... "i need a naked women" ........... help?
Randomize
