the night i cant remember will be the night i always remember thanks to my "i
I'm dying. Please wear something slutty to my funeral.
you think thats bad? Today I had to pop a zit on my sack.
Let's create a 16 and pregnant drinking game
everyone contributed. i held her hair back, he rubbed my vag... it was a team effort.
She's trying to master eating with her feet. She said it was be she "always has to be prepared."
We had phone sex and he came in his sink. i will never eat off one of his plates again
The girl in the stall next to me is puking her brains out, I'd say she had just a good a weekend as us
I gave her some alkaseltzer ad she looked at me lke I was god
You'd love her. She's outspoken like us. And appreciates a big penis and a strong drink.
Too bad pet owners lack respect for my training in ancient Buddhist and holistic rehab therapies.
I'm not sure the Buddhist consider pot brownies holistic rehab therapy
Being the hot sister definately has advantages, I'm pretty sure I ruined her engagement
Do you find Darth Vader masks attractive?
Drunk you decided to patrol campus as the Arrow and tell random bystanders "YOU HAVE FAILED THIS CAMPUS." Campus P.D. did not join your crusade.
That explains the nerd bow & arrow...
My roommate just threatened to kill me with my own pan. Can I ever get away from the crazies?!
All I have in my purse is 10 cents and a plastic ducky.\nI can't explain last night.
Randomize
