WHY CAN'T YOU EVER SHIT LIKE A NORMAL PERSON, JESSE.
For real. Like, if I ever had to choose a last meal, I would just choose to get high and eat whatever was around.
we need blinds so i can safely watch porn during the day
how many princess gummy vitamins will it take to negate last nights drinking binge?
I got to watch him fuck me from behind in the reflection of an ornament. so glad I decorated.
The doctor wrote 'condom retrieval' on my discharge paper.
I tapped out to boredom. She bought me a full meal at Subway. Two tap beers and a pretty weak long island iced tea. I'm five dollars cheaper to fuck than she is.
I feel like we're taking advantage of the fact that our R.A has cerebal palsey.
You're getting a blowjob this afternoon. This has been your morning public service announcement.
We aren't really supposed to respect our bodies til our mid twenties.
I need to get some goddam control over my hormones
But we made up last night and had unbelievably crazy sex tonight. I legit went blind for like 15mins from him choking me. It was awesome
my goal is to never have a bac of 0.0 the whole time while in the state of florida, which means i have to chug a beer before i cross the state line
We made out in front of everyone INCLUDING his girlfriend. And no one saw. THAT DRUNK!
In hindsight I shouldn't have been blasting Antichrist Superstar if I didn't want to seem suspicious driving up to a Catholic church
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