just heard 2 nerds making fun of a girl for mispronouncing stochiometry. they followed it up by discussing the mathematical equation for getting laid. my day just became 100x better.
He's been dead since March and more people write on his wall than mine.
I just masturbated mid-day, thinking of you
I think that is one of the most romantic things I have ever heard from a fuck buddy on v-day, there is a strong possibility that you will soon be my girlfriend.
you just stood there spinning and got mad if anyone tried to stop you
Just picked them up. It took 6 holes and a handle of rum to evolve from golf to a demolition derby.
There's an entire pit crew of cart boys surveying the golf cart destruction.
She stopped mid hookup to ask me if we'd be done before Taco Bell closed.
He told me since I'm into organics I should know his meat is known locally for its quality and hes hand raised it since age 13.
Someday you'll be stoned enough to create a one-person step team and then you'll understand
I will sleep with anyone I have to to make sure you don't get deported
You should be glad you didn't come with last night. I watched pirate porn for the first time in my life as the 9th wheel.
His legs actually look hot in that dress. He might even make a better girl than Josh
Woke up to the UT campus police fishing my boxers out of the university pool, guess it was a good night.
His encouragement of my recreational drug use is the backbone of our nonrelationship. That, and rough animal sex and loud music.
It's days like today, when my bra and underwear match, that make me feel like I'm getting my life together...
Yeah everywhere i go i feel like a 3rd or 5th or (2n+1)th wheel. That's right, i'm a mathematically depressed drunk.
Randomize
