saw you had $9 in your checking acct, left $20 on your dresser so you won't be a whore this weekend
He started yelling "we're making a baby" mid thrust.. probably not the right guy for me right?
And Anthony pissed on himself at the strip club
Just did the walk of shame across state lines...milestone?
bio was interesting today. swabbed my mouth to see what the cells where, ha. found a sperm cell. he was just that awesome
What was your penis's nickname in high school? Also, what was it's theme song?
my boss told me he would look for my wallet when he went back to the strip club tonight.
I'm soaked in beer, and I think blood. Why did we think we could tap a keg with a hammer?
I'm drunk in your building find me and we can have sex.
Regret, thy taste is box wine.
So i had a feeling this dude with one leg in a wheelchair was following me around Walmart turns out I was right. He just asked for a picture of my feet.
i mean i let him but still...
Got so drunk last night I kinda sent a super on point sext to his kid sister...say a prayer man
Never joke about your clitoris.
It's okay to admit that you're into redheads.
i told her we had a class about unicorns together. i'd say it was a good night
Randomize
