so apparently telling her she could shit easier and therefore lose weight faster wasn't the best arguement for getting anal.
i told him to take shots to cure a hangover and he told me i was "walking the steppingstones to alcoholism"
i find it sad that i can no longer sit in the back of class for fear that someone will fart into the heater again.
we where pretty evenly matched until he threw me through that wall
I just watched dragonflies fucking. You can't match that level of geek.
I'm also 3/4 on the frats. Its like my goal of traveling to all 7 continents, but different somehow and a lot less morally sound.
You're right. Single life welcomed me back with open arms. It's like it knew it wasnt going to be long when I left.
next time im at a party and go to fist bump the dude who took my virginity two years ago PLEASE STOP ME
i just got hit on on the bus. Yes sir, because its every boys dream to fuck a forty year old with a face tattoo
He caught a cramp during sex and I was like "do you want me to get you a banana?" And he responded with "I'll give you a banana" and kept going. I'm marrying him.
I think one of my ovaries is committing suicide. But that is a topic for another day.
It's 4/20 and I spent the morning in the gym and am working later tonight. I don't even have any weed. Why am I adult-ing again?
He told me he sees me like a sister then 10 mins later tried to make out with me.
He said we were going to get fucked up in the woods so here we are
Puking out the window is really hard when you're the one driving.
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