PS the last 3 guys I've hooked up with were a CEO, a mechanical bull operator and a magic the gathering player...I need a type...
Ur type is ready and willing
Someone should've told Pope jumper lady and terrorist pants guy that the Worst of 2009 lists already went out....
I don't even know why I got my vag waxed
Ugh, tell me about it. As each day passes and the hair grows more, I get a little more depressed.
med student doing my blood work at the AIDS clinic just hit on me after I told him i was having unprotected sex, but didn't think i had HIV.
Just wandered into a surprise final. Only a surprise for me though. I wish I could say this is the first time this has happened.
that's why i use the vibrator in the tanning bed. multitasking. plus then my rooms doesnt know how pathetic of a life i lead.
Just realized Ive had sex in or around each thing listed in Green Eggs and Ham besides the fox.
I thought I was invisible, then some guy flashed his high beams at me and I realized my lights weren't on...not invisible.
Seeing the pictures of him and i, I'm giving whiskey the win on this one. Definitely had beer goggles.
I just threw in a dip with a guy that superglued his fake tooth back in today. My life is complete.
Also I'm so used to having sex with river guides that when he pulled out a condom I was actually surprised
I had to switch to male Siri because I could feel female Siri voice judging me for reading my sexts out loud. Also, the dude voice keeps me in the mood.
And if you put this on Facebook, I will drop live cockroaches in your mouth while you sleep and then smother you with a pillow.
You always say the most romantic things
WHERE THE FUCK IS MY ARM DO YOU HAVE ANY IDEA HOW DIFFICULT IS IS TO TYPE WITH ONE HAND
Who knew removing piercings would be so radical?
Randomize
