@ a funeral. fucking miss uuuu
it's business casual sex. like no kissing, shake hands after, occasional frequency
I honestly wish you had parked the car in the terminal garage and fucked me in the backseat but I guess I should be more forward
If you're wondering about the pepper everywhere its for the ants and it was my doings. They hate pepper. You're welcome.
Haha you were definitely messed up. Let me know if you need anything
Could really use a time machine and a higher self esteem, in that order
Oh I love our desires, it's riding my bike at 2 AM with a massive erection that I dislike.
michael burned off one of his eyebrows making a pizza so he had to shave off the other one to make it look even. it doesn't look right, but I'd still bang him.
Sorry I invoked the "everyones getting smacked including myself policy last night"
We ended up at a lesbian bar and all my co-workers tried to get me laid. This is not how I envisioned coming out.
Twist to Josh's story, he had a gyro in his hand and never dropped it even after he got knocked the fuck out
Go to a building you've never been before and take a shit. It's marvelous
I am sitting in my lingerie, eating frozen cookie dough out of a bowl, and watching family. My hump day is going great
Dude. I’m playing chess through iMessage with a stripper. What has my life become.
so i might have slept on your bathroom floor last night...
Drinking at 10 in the morning and swimming might not be the best idea I've ever had but it beats working
Randomize
