suddenly, hermaphrodite night sounds like a really bad idea
is he the 3rd person to bang everyone in our group?
please come over and have sex with me so we can talk about prom and kill 2 birds with one condom
Either there is a god and he hates masturbation, or one of my roommates stole my vibrator while I was in the shower.
I'm very fluent in vodka, but that seems to be a whiskey dialect.
they're both probably 7 inches? or 8? I'm shoving a ruler in my mouth trying to figure it out
It's really sad that I'm trying to calculate in my head the type of place to have dinner that's worth anal
I don't think I can look at him the same way anymore after he walked in my room wearing a short skirt with a boner.
Dude, you were so wasted she couldn't wait. She was grinding your face while you were passed out in the yard.
she asked me to come back to her house where "hopefully her kids were asleep". that my friend is what i call a dealbreaker
Can we make love to the Space Jam soundtrack?
I’m honestly just flattered that you think I could make PornHub’s Top 10.
Right now I'm laying face down on my carpet in my living room in the darkness sending work emails from my phone.
It's a glamorous life.
So I fell alseep while I was motorboating that girl last night infront of the entire party.
So I tried to catch a rabbit in Terraria & accidentally blew it up with a grenade made of bees. Monty Python would be proud.
Randomize
