ally, we are sitting by a fire and you are totally hot. no pun intended
Would you object to my putting the bidet video on my Facebook page? It;s awesome.
you're kinda like the weird girl from The Breakfast Club after the makeover. i mean you're pretty, but you're still weird as fuck
Well he asked to have a sober hang out so i guess that constitutes as a date in college
I was working er so they smashed a vodka bottle over dan's head so they'd have an excuse to visit
idk if you're aware of this...but we could potentially have the greatest hate sex...ever.
I'm going on a nature/throwup walk. Don't lock me out of the apartment.
someone who i have in my phone as thundercock just said he was DTF
She wants to practice her harmonica skills on my penis
Who knew you could get a drunk in public when jogging with your dog?
I have a better chance beating China's military with slap bracelets than this plan has of working.
no need to worry, I have the internet and a cape, I can accomplish anything. nothing can go wrong, I am unstoppable. Yo.
I used my iced coffee to ice the bump on my head from last night
What's more sad than going to Target to buy Plan B and the new Sam Smith album?
Summers almost over and we haven't golfed, got naked or had sex yet. Let's do all three in one day, no particular order.
Randomize
