it hurts more in the daytime
and i looked up. we had an audience...
You came on your own forehead. Just wanted to remind you that.
first off, his name is dougie. strike one.
There are not one, but two women wearing my boxers on the couch right now. You need to wake the fuck up.
You were running around with scissors offering people free haircuts.
I swear I only do things like fuck 19 yr olds just to hear how you laugh when I tell you.
I'm already mentally preparing myself for the fact that I'll probably be sleeping next to a toilet.
I'm in the "I'd rather have Carbs than Dick phase" part of my Life right now. YOU tell me how much Skinny Sex I'm having.
I found your pet lobster in the bathroom this morning. I went to return it to you but it escaped.
people in the room actually applauded when we discovered you had the ability to somehow throw up on your own back
If I asked you to guess what I'm doing right now how many guesses would it take to get to really high eating an apple bumping techno
Her dog trainer Fuck buddy is over here again. She sounds like a squeaky toy and he talks to her like he talks to the dog. I CAN HEAR EVERYTHING!!!
You answered, dry heaved into the phone twice, & then hung up on me.
I FOUND A VIBRATOR IN MY BABY BROTHERS ROOM. IM FREAKIN OUT MAN ITS BIGGER THEN MINE
put it back and chill out ok
NO FUCK HES 15 WHO EVEN SOLD HIM THAT HES A BABY
Randomize
