the next time i see a chick with leggings under her jean skirt...i'm gona beat her ass with a fashion magazine...
She made me role-play everything from an older prof to a in-patient in need of a medical exam. Yay for cocaine.
Im going home to examine my vagina with a hand mirror. wish me luck.
after last night my drinking related hospital bracelet collection is up to 13
Just found out my 21st birthday is on a Wednesday. The possibilities are cheap, as well as endless.
My clit ring got caught in his beard. Never. Again.
Ps I got my nipple pierced. You're just gonna have to accept me for the tool I am and I don't wanna hear any shenanigans.
I told this guy in the dining hall that he's a hippie god and he's never made eating yogurt so sexy
You're like Jane Goodall in a forest of gay men. Someday your autobiography will be called "Bottoms in the Mist".
Dude. Photoshop a Santa hat on your mug shot and send it as your Christmas cards.
I knew I'd like her from the moment she supported me messing around with my co-worker on my lunch break
McDonald's and a car nap. I feel kinda human
I pack a first-aid kit when I DD for you. What does that tell you about your partying? For what I see and do, paying my food and gas for the night is a goddamn BARGAIN.
I got titty fucked last night and you're breastfeeding your newborn. Clearly we have gone two totally different paths since 2011.
I'm a grown ass woman. Treat me like one. Fuckboy
Randomize
