Marriage: a sacred union between one man and one woman, and another woman in Argentina.
i really thought "pants-shitting drunk" was an unreachable level until last night
I'm gonna play a drinking game called "Sarah takes the train"
My dick just stopped my iPhone from falling into the toilet.
i wish i had the videos of us pissing on him last night.
Its a Guy he gets weed for. I'm kinda confused as to why there are going to even be tuxedos involved at all.
The bartender just asked me if I owned stock in Jameson. I've been here for less than an hour and he's already judging me.
i jsut waqnnna hugg thw crap outa sokme peoplee
Hm, finding a time when my drinking and your real life don't conflict could be difficult
Also.. The Hobbit does not look like a cartoon. We were just too fucking high.
I'm not sure what is worse, the fact that Hoffman doesn't sell vodka before 9am or that I was trying to buy vodka at 8:30am.
Just remembered I railed lines while holding a puppy
Just got a 15 minute lecture from a drag queen about how bisexuality doesn't exist. Cher would be so disappointed in her.
I try not to flex my sex appeal too much around the engineers, it's like feeding bears...always ends in disaster.
he broke off the kiss to ask "can I grab your boob?" like props for asking for clear and concise consent but there HAS to be a sexier way to do it
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