But, the reference to being horny and then blending a banana is troubling
I have to start avoiding pregnant women. This is getting out of hand.
turns out the guy i was dating because he was a cop was not actually a cop. i learned this as he got arrested by real cops.
He is like that thing on the menu you would eat because nothing else looks remotely edible.
I save people's lives for a living, but I want to ruin his marriage.
i believe i can now do shots of gasoline with no chaser. its been that kind of summer.
He's so young, I keep getting a mental image of him in footie pajamas. It's cute but it's wrong. Or is it?
Also, not pregnant! Way to go uterus! Good job on being a team player!
I'm not sure what happened last night but I woke up next to him and I was wearing nothing but my grandpa's diabetic socks, so I'm letting that fill in the blanks.
Just saw a huge group of people walk by in there in their underwear. Too stoned for this.
Yeah thats cool. We can play the alphabet game while doing bumps of coke in the back of his volswagon
We were too tired to finish having sex so we just stopped to eat the cheesecake and passed out. I didn't mind
Its only once in a life time you get to pick your vcard swiper up from jail
idk but im stoned n hiding in the bathroom from my kids with a really big bowl of really little candy bars
This is what I get for listening to Christians.
Randomize
