And my dad told him he was a great looking guy. and then added "no homo" after.
Got a plan. Ill do rock paper scissors and if you win we smoke a joint. Throw rock.
This is why you don't make out with cougars at a bar... I got a linkedin request from her, wtf?
If it makes you feel better, I doubt anything could survive in your uterus.
Well regardless of which drugs we choose to do tonight until four in the morning, we are having a wii bowling championship. So choose carefully.
Great. Now I'm always going to be the roommate that boned a guy with a third nipple.
Her desktop wallpaper is a collage of penises she fucked.
I cannot FaceTime with your penis
its just been over 12 hours, and i`m dying, don`t know how i`m supposed to survive the holidays sexless
Just saw some lesbians get in a fistfight in an Arby's parking lot. It's good to be home.
Seeing your boyfriend, side piece, and great white buffalo, all in one night? Its a sign right?
Proceed with caution.
I want you more than I want a burrito.
I'm not as filling.
My face feels like a midget just gave birth to quintuplets
90% sure I just sold adderall to my professor
100% proud
He told his wife he was too old to pretend to be straight. She tried to argue. He walked two tables over and was like this is my highschool sweetheart and he's an excellent fuck, we're running away together. It was epic.
Randomize
