come over anyways, right now, right this second
it can be a super quick quicky, then you can go back to studying
wow, that sounds SO fun, please stop enticing me with premature ejaculation
can someone explain to me why i woke up under a twister sheet
The vodka told me to go iceskating on my frozen pool. I may have attempted.
Please get rnbert tn get chebk h'm in i'm no dead when he getr gome
the cop didnt laugh with me when he patted me down and pulled out my flask.
Just woke up to the best idea ever. Vodka infused BUTTER. Take a second, and think of the possibilities.
Heard puking from next door. Looks like the third floor won't be any different than the second.
I think if I set up a series of baby gates up the stairs each one more difficult to undo then the last that should be able to stop your drunk vagina.
Kripsy Kremes at our place, bring your own coffee. And your own donuts because these ones are ours.
She's legally too young to drink and was making out with a guy who is ethically too old to drink.
Sex to movie scores is my best choice of the year. You've had an orgasm but have you had an orgasm with an entire orchestra.
handcuff keys just fell out of my bra....wtf happened last night?
How is someone going to pee on the floor two days in a row? Fuck this place.
It shouldn't be this hard to find someone who you haven't blown.
I remember reading the word "lift" so I did. The alarn went off, and I thought to myself "what dumbass pulls the fucking fire alarm?" and then I realized it was me...
Randomize
