also referred to as T.P.S. (Toddler Penis Syndrome)
my mom is pro-life. I dare you to fuck me.
my mom just poured a water bottle of wine to take my dog on a walk...
pretty sure if my vagina had a mouth, it would have been smiling afterwards.
All i know is we had 4 people on a tandum bike, and told the cops we couldnt stop because our momentum was so good.
i still can't believe we survived that barcrawl. the third bar had bullet holes and we still went in.
you were wearing a pair of wings and handing out McDonalds apple pies, if anyone refers to you as the "Rave Fairy" you now know why.
THIS EXPLAINS SO MUCH.
He said I could liberate his beef and all I could think about was how I don't eat veal for political reasons.
"Wait, who's gun did I have?" Moments when you re-examine your life choices.
THEY NOW HAVE MIXED DRINK EMOJIS! LIFE IS GOOD! PRINCESSES DON'T DRINK BEER
Handcuffs are allowed in carry on luggage :) just checked
I can always see lesbian subplot. It's my hero ability.
Last night I dreamed that I got eaten out by Lego Harry Potter.
Oohh. Then yes, he is the Alpha Fuckboy.
But we have bathrooms and they dont
Randomize
