Uh i was pretty wasted sat, so if i was weird it wasnt me. It was just vodka bein weird w my phone
Tonite tequila might call you
Be prepared
My dad just drunkly made a toast in front of my entire extended family "to my daughter the recent and sucessful college and to my son the drunken whore-monger"
She's NOT homeless...she graduated early.
No, I'm not okay. Girls are wearing BUMPITS here.
She threw all the patio furniture in the pool saying she was building a castle.
He said my breasts were God's way of making up to him for all the shit he's had to endure in his life.
That was around the time you tried to kick me out for being rude to your fish.
I just wanna go home eat some pizza rolls, get warm and jerk off, and it's only 845. This shit was supposed to make me see unicorns. Not cry
I think i blacked out...but i remember licking your teeth
Please tell me that chemistry equipment is for chemistry and not for producing felonies.
Hypothetically how does one go about throwing away a dildo?
It's Been clinically proven that people who have sex 6 or more times per week are happier than those who don't. Just and FYI. For your mental health. From a soon so be psychologist. Who is drunk.
SEX BINGO!
Canadian or clown?
sexting foreigners is the best. they respond with silly things like "love that tits"
Moms love me. I'm the reminder that they need to turn safe search on.
Randomize