need another drink. this is the easiest way
We each get one free throw up cleaning, no questions asked.
she added me on facebook and her celebrity doppelganger is rosie odonnel. FUCK
She's "scared" of blowjobs, so she just played with it for a while.
You sent her a pic of your dick with 'guess what you cant have anymore' written on it with a marker.
What color are my eyes?
Ummmm... 34 C?
I called for backup and had two guys carry him to the shower. The bigger guy offered to wash his hair.
After the baby comes, I'll make us White Russians with my breast milk. That will teach her about sharing.
I have a test in the morning in sign language about signs for drugs and alcohol use. Im drunk and rolling a blunt. I've never felt so confident about a grade in my life.
He brought her home and fucked her in a gingerbread man costume in a cardboard rapunzel castle. He had a pretty good night.
I finally fell asleep and like an hour later he wakes me up and says "I've always to be woken up w a blowjob." Um, that's not how it works asshole.
I woke up with my vibrator in my bed so I'm assuming I had a decent night.
Don't be the guy that has his dick out at work.
I think we ended 5-7 relationships as well this weekend...so another good stat
You don't feed me, fuck me, or fulfill me.
Randomize
