I need a shot of tequila, and quick death
i feel so shallow. people in iran are using twitter to write hardcore nathan hale shit about dying for freedom. my last tweet was "i hate the taco shits"
He said he used to draw on the walls with poop when he was a kid.
he actually said the words "do you want to pet the lizard?" with a straight face as he unzipped his pants
the party we were at had security guards carrying paintball guns. that probably should have been the first sign
That's terrible. At least give it a creative name like muff mobile.
Lets get real here, ive seen your moms breasts multiple times
I'm the brains and you're the boobs of this operation.
Only he would come to a strip club and talk about an internship with Walt Disney during a lap dance.
I made $130 by ordering two pizzas and charging them $10 a slice. If they weren't so stoned they might have realized they could have just ordered another pizza for $20.
correction: my vagina hates that I'm smart.
Come to this bar
But I'm full of food.
MAKE ME FULL OF YOUR DICK
You ate ashes out of my bong
Just checked out of walmart with a 30 pack of Budlight and a wiffle bat. Hello, Monday night.
So I love answering sex questions in intimate relationships class on a clicker when im sitting next to my cousin..
Randomize
