You said you wanted to go to louisiana and get arrested by Steven segal
Sacagawea was the original milf.
just to let you know, its not cheating if i cant feel my hands.
We are going out Saturday. Oh and we might also be jousting on bikes.
Everybody knows the last week of summer internships include showing up to the office hammered and hitting on the CEO
Hi, this is a test of the morning after apology broadcast system. If you're receiving this pre-recorded message there is a high probability I was a dickwad to you in the past 24 hours. You have my utmost and sincere apologies. Also if you have my wallet, house key, left converse, or lighter, give them/it back
If you happen to tell anybody my drunk story in the near future, please refrain from telling them about me shitting myself. People are getting the wrong idea and random people are messaging me on Facebook making fun of me for that
Seriously. All i can say is im covered in mud, my jaw hurts, i cannot straighten my arm, egg is everywhere, and there is a dead squirrel.
The straight guy here is hot. He described himself as Christian grey without the money and my vagina fell out of my body
I don't remember... but puking on the bar sounds like me.
On a scale of one to liver failure, how bad would it be if I played thunderstruck alone?
the reason i can drink whatever i want and you have a limit is because whiskey will never make my pussy not work
Is kiddo a correct name to call someone who you stuck your dick in?
When I meet her I'm going to have to resist the urge of saying "hey! We're Eskimo sisters!"
I tried to breakup with him by telling I had a threesome. He one upped me by saying he had a 5-some so I couldn’t do it.
Randomize
