She says ass holes are for stuffing, the verb, not stuffing, the noun.
he's sitting on top of the fridge in only a black speedo and wont get down
she always winds up in the cupboards its nothing new.
I had to jump out of her car while it was moving enough said
Either I'm still drunk or the right side of the bed is now the left side.
Girl behind me in line at cvs was getting impatient then outta nowhere blew up shouting that if she didn't get her plan b soon she might be a mom abd that if we couldn't tell she'd be a terrible mom
Seriously, this apartment is covered in body glitter. This chick musta been a huuuuuge slut. How do you get it across every surface?
Do you have any forwarding contact info?
Roomie questionaires don't ask any of the important questions like "how do you feel about one night stands" and "will you judge me post-walk of shame"
I feel so bad for your roommate
Woke up, moved an empty handle of fireball to spit blood, then put the morning cigarette out in it.
Watched an eagle swoop down and eat a rabbit on my walk back from your place, literally too high to handle this right now
You need to stop telling people you gained weight over the holidays. You've been fat since July.
There aren't enough words in the English language to fully describe how worried I am for your dick. And the rest of you, I suppose.
You told me that you would let her eat cake off of your ass, then fell asleep on the floor
Can you explain the Transformers set up for battle in my living room?
I am no longer embarassed by my vagina
It concerns why you would be in the first place, but I'd rather not know
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