Sex don't cost a thang now that you can buy trojans with meal points.
What did we do last night that was yellow?
The drink u got me is pineapple something w. Cigarete ashes in it.ima drink it anyway
We had literally Just finished having sex when he handed me a plan B and said he lied about wearing a condom.
How do I invite him to our 4th of July cookout without sounding too much like "hey you were my first orgasm and I want your dick inside my while watching fireworks"
I could've eaten a live cat and wouldn't remember it today. That level of drunk.
Party at my house. Beach themed. Clothing optional.
Wouldn't that make it "Nude Beach Themed?"
Just saw all the pictures from the party. I'm wearing a different shirt in every single one.
Not only is he in the circus, the man survived a near death experience and has an accent. She might as well have found a unicorn. This shit just doesn't happen in real life. Where did she meet this magical creature?
I really wanted to suck your dick, but I also didn't want to miss any of the movie
It's something I can't competently describe without making sex sounds.
Thank you for listening to my rant about tacos.
Remember that St. Patrick's Day when I fucked your married coworker in his truck and the whole bar was chanting for you "Don't fuck Mike"?! #TheLuckOfTheIrish 🍀
Just because you haven’t had your UTI yet doesn’t mean you have a right to talk like Yoda
It was just another case of she fell in love I fell asleep.
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