i'm considering texting him with "i'm leaving the country for a year, wanna fuck?"
do it. it's every man's dream.
My only regret is not throwing up on the conveyor belt in the dining hall
I paid your cover too so you're on the list as tits mcgee. You're welcome :D
He told me "it wants a kiss" WHY HAS THIS HAPPENED WITH 2 DIFFERENT PEOPLE.
I hate having to put a bra on before I go home cuz I have to pretend I actually went to class today
Fell twice in five points. on my face. literally during a cross walk. The cars just went around me. 21st birthday memories right there
She bent over while grinding on me on the dance floor and her thong straps were hanging out, I thought it was a good idea to grab the straps with both hands and pretend to be riding in Santa's sleigh...not my brightest moment.
I am on top of a rooftop peeing on your freedom
there is absolutely nothing wrong with two grown men staying up all night blowing lines drinking white wine and playing call of duty. don't judge me
Sitting in bed reading a porn novel off my phone and accidentally just made Siri start reading the most graphic part aloud. FUN FIRST NIGHT WITH THE NEW ROOMIE.
Get his dick out of your ass and put on some pants we're here
She always used to joke about becoming a stripper. WHO'S FUNNY NOW?!
Oh. My. God. It is NOT okay to drink Johnny Walker when there is no Jameson. My skull is eating my brain.
If my vagina was a person it would have a bandage around its head and it's arm in a sling rn
Someone signed my nipple.
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