Hey dude. Went to the hospital. Call me when you get up
Worst sexual experience IN MY LIFE. And now i know why it makes jesus cry.
I just used Master P to describe what sound the letter U makes to my daughter...
so we were pounding it out and someone knocked on the wall and was shouting at us
that didnt stop you
nope
You talked to that cop for like 15 minutes and when you got back, you told us you were "networking".
I was going through my mom's high school yearbook...almost half the people who signed it referred to her as "Karen Smokejoints", "Confused Karen", or drew a picture of a joint. I have never felt more like her daughter.
Nothing quite like pre-gaming the Kentucky Derby with adderall and adderall. I'm fairly confident I could outrun all of these fucking horses in a foot race right now.
Dude it was bad... like you fell asleep around the toilet after drinking from the back tank bad.
also Jesus you really need to change your diet. I just washed your baby gravy out of my hair and it's so acidic my hair is damaged. You have killer sperm
soon, soon....
I don't believe you anymore. You're like the boy who cried coitus.....
My mom is wine drunk and on painkillers. As invigorating as that conversation was, it was also a dark glimpse into my future
I have invented a new game to play on campus. It's called "Mormons or Pledges?" It's fantastic.
MY TITS ARE PERFECTLY CALM.
Straight boys are literally imbeciles. If Darwinism doesn’t get them female rage will.
we used a blowdryer last night to warm up our left over pizza..it worked perfectly at first..but then the chili powder got into his eyes..
Randomize
