We just spray painted his balls while he is passed out....I cant wait to see him try to figure this out in the morning.
There comes a time in every girls life when she must use her boobs for good instead of evil.
Your pregnant arnt you
we got plastered, then made lists of anything thats ever been in our vaginas
I know. Brad is upset because he was lower on the list than "that carrot stick"
They told me you were taking cheese cube shots and chasing them with barbecue sauce... Is this true?
i asked the cop if we could stop and do a chinese firedrill.... he said no.
Well I'm currently debating between getting toilet paper or getting my eyebrows waxed so... There's that
you were like "guys ... i think i got fingered while dancing tonight"
our poor poor cab driver
Whats your number? 5 or more?
Cinco. It sounds smaller in Spanish.
So this is where people who peaked in high school come to drink?
She looks like a beluga.
I want to splash her with water and when she screams say "I didn't want you to die. You looked parched"
Guess who's the proud owner of her very own foxtail butt plug!!
I got wine drunk and bought a hedgehog
Being home for break is weird, just had a full convo with my dad about what I wanted for dinner, while a dildo was on top of me under my comforter
Hey I just woke up in the back of a pickup truck parked at taco bell... Can u come get me?
QUICK FAX ME THE BALL
Not how faxing works at all btw
Randomize
