she smelled like a LAN party
im too high. i could barely wash my hair, let alone handle a whole shower
stranger just walked up to the fridge at the party, took the hawaiin punch out, drank it straight from the bottle, looked at everyone who stared in awe and said "im fucking thirsty" and put it back.
then he said "your boobs looked so much bigger on girls gone wild"
I forgot about that,good spring break.
I think I suffocated him while I was riding his face
i licked icing off his dick. in front of his sister.
We are, if nothing else, classy enough to leave our 10 mini bottles of wine in a polite line on the floor of the movie theater.
I did a hand stand against the glass wall at Ziggy's with no panties on and got 3 phone numbers. Thank God I shaved this morning...
He came over drunk in a speedo i told him he has my vote he said who are you voting for when i said obama he took off running and shouting i was worthless like an empty beer can
YOHYFONSO!! YOU ONLY HAVE YOUR FIRST ONE NIGHT STAND ONCE!!
So high I started thinking my desktop picture of a cat was too erotic for the workplace.
Please keep in mind you are asking relationship advice from a girl who fucked a guy just because we have the same name. Just keep that in mind.
I'm pretty sure my roommate is moving out because her cat likes me better
I can't decide which is better: the sex, or remembering that I have ice cream in the freezer after he left
As I walked across the lawn after the party got busted, an officer told me to chug my beer before I left the premises.
Randomize
