i was so high i thought his mole came off and was flying around
so, on facebook you can become a fan of butt sex, and also premarital sex, but not premarital butt sex, which is what I was aiming for.
How would you go about getting a hold of the country star that you slept with and are now potentially pregnant with their baby...?
myspace Music?
I was speaking french the whole night. Until i got arrested. Then I decided I should probably start speaking English.
The savings from $3 shots still doesn't add up to plan-b
You mean the girl who was passed out face down on the bathroom floor until 10 AM? You're right, she was cute.
Being the only sober one.. I had to feed you guys doritos. You kept licking my fingers.
we've had our differences but let's set them aside, go home and fuck
You made her yell her own name while you were fucking so that you would remember it in the morning.
I found the crust to my pizza under my covers that's cool
There is a check pinned to the wall at Connor's. It's a check I wrote for $1,000,000... To you. Clearly you made out well on St. Patrick's day. Thanks for being too shitfaced to remember to grab that.
These past few weeks have been a lesson on why you don't put your penis inside girls who live in your building.
Stripping out of my teacher clothes to Talk Dirty to Me. Who let me become a teacher?
Will you remind me I changed my hotspot phone password to fuckyouprivilegedwhitedude
The Game of Thrones convention was just a drunk fuckfest.
Please tell me you banged Jon Snow.
Randomize
