Just be blunt and say drink from my dick
he asked me if i had ever jacked off high and then referred to it as a "man-to-man question"
nothing says happy new years better than a black eye from shooting yourself with a champagne bottle
you rubbed the head of my dick and said "I shall call you Squishy and you shall be mine and you shall be my Squishy."
Drunk at a girls little league game. Hello summer.
Please tell me nicole sent the picture of the ejaculating penis to you too, otherwise I'll feel really awkward
That dude you fucked three years ago just won Jeopardy
You kept trying to throw the grocery cart off the balcony.
I'm 25 and she is 19. She wants to practice blowjobs on me because of my stamina. Not only does the GI bill pay for me to go to school I am teaching a freshman blowjob course. I love Texas.
I just wanna go somewhere and not be judged for wearing spandex shorts that make my ass look like a slice of fucking heaven. Is that so much to ask??
He actually offered up a silent prayer thanking God for my "tremendous ass." You tell me how my night is going.
God gave me a talent besides one night stands. I feel like I should use it
I just want someone to put their head on my boobs and laugh at my jokes ....
Hey now one little girl thought it was cool I was covered in blood. Apparently according to her Mom she wants to be a surgeon when she grows up
Threw up on break at work. That brings our collective tally to 9 times. We can never drink like that on a monday again
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