I think we should go ahead and pin a note to my shirt when we go out that says"do NOT buy me shots"
On the back we can put possible side effects may include: indiscriminate making out, brief crying spells, yelling in jibberish, and sudden sleep.
There is something about listening to Patsy Cline while pooping that makes the experience so much better.
Admittedly I was a little ambitious with some of the positions but you walked in during the worst of it.
I'm in my winter jacket and nothing else. very drunk. bring bitches.
and all i could think about was how mcdonalds would not be open anymore after we were done having sex
Dude she looks like a female richard gere plus 400 pounds.
The polaroid of me taking a test-tube of Jegar out of the gay guys mouth pretty much explains my trip to Spain.
She passed out in his mom's bed and when we went to go get her she went 'no its cool I live here'.
Apparently she was filling Miller Lite bottles with water because I refused to be seen drinking water in a bar
he spent an hour trying to convince us that Ted Nugent is Kid Rock from the future. by the end of it i was very close to believing him.
We legitimately thought something was wrong with you until someone pointed out you were just doing the thriller dance
I would rather get explosive diarrhea at the aquarium than go home alone tonight
Ways to ruin a one night stand: the guy finds your parenting magazine on your dorm room desk.
Good. Sleepy. In the middle of a pregnancy scare. The usual.
She complained to dominos last night for hanging up on her, and then she wrote "fuck you dominos" on the receipt when we got our pizza
So we are banned from the campus dominos
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