he shaved USA in his pubs
Fair warning.. porn on your laptop when you turn it on.. seemed like a wonderful idea last night.. until it died
Cruel joke of nature. Hair on head runs from face, and hides on various parts of body. Aging sucks.
he cracked the bottle of jager at 11am and said "hey, its Saturday and I gotta do something"
bubblegum was invented today. we're getting drunk. end of story.
You know who really doesn't like surpise in-your-face air guitar solos? Strangers.
My girlfriend was pissed, so if I had to guess, i'd say I had a GREAT time last night
The drugs are starting to wear off. Suddenly aware there's a girl with bald patches and 2 guys that don't have a full set of teeth between them.
i was able to set 4 alarms to make sure i woke up in time for class but i couldnt take the open beer out of my pocket before i did cartwheels down the hall...
Definitely sounds like it's time for some eggs with a side of strap on
Drinking heavily at 3pm and about to rescue a 30lb street turtle. Dont even bother attempting to rise to this level bitch
I was so drunk I got stuck in the middle of a revolving door
Bruh. He just said the words "cyber sex"-is it 1999?
whose shirt was i wearing?
his little sister's
what was she wearing
a feather boa and 6 inch heels
I'm fine. Heading home now...crying. Michael Bolton totally understands me!
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