rolled in at 7am w/ 2 girls i met at the strip club. my neighbor was getting up to mow the lawn before he took his kids to school. i'm 31. he's younger. if given the chance, you think he'd want to switch places?
Pat told us he showed us his penis because he's "a nice guy".
This random guy just introduced himself then said "So, I am staying at my friends place and he has a 4 year old, so we should probably go back to your house." WTF kind of vibes do I give off?
i got turned down by a girl after she saw how big my penis was and she said "thats not goin in me"
I feel like i made up for not being able to drink on St Pattys Day, Mardi Gras, and last years Cinco De Mayo. That hungover.
Dude, at this rate we're going to get arrested a second time tonight.
These margaritas aren't just going to regret themselves.
My vag has a bald spot. That is so middle aged. Is this my midlife crisis?
STOP WHATEVER YOU ARE DOING AND GO OUTSIDE RIGHT NOW. THE MOON LOOKS LIKE CATWOMAN
I was wasted and the time changed. I blame the male strippers.
Girl re-adjusts bra, no one bats an eye. I re-adjust nuts, everyone stares.
He's beautiful. His facial hair makes me wanna cum in it
Ew, no. But yeah I feel the same
The hint wasn't even a hint. it said "stop talking to her" that's pretty straightforward
I wish you could see all the crumbs in my bra....it looks like Hansel & Gretel got lost in my cleavage.
It makes my nipple hurt just thinking about it.
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