So #1 way to come back last night and #2 wishbone and I broke into his house and i opened joey's door and u were both passed out and pantless.
Last night I broke through a door, was hospitialized, arrested, and threw my shoe at a bouncer. This summer is gonna be fuckin sick.
lets hang out tonight and do stupid stuff.
Dating you for 6 months was stupid enough. But thanks.
I guess what I'm trying to say is you've fucked more people than the economy.
you can't get genital warts from dogs can you?
you got so mad from losing a game of beerpong that you went into another room by yourself and practiced for an hour and a half.
Is it obsessive that I keep picking my crazy sex rug burn scab so it leaves a scar I can remember him by?
She's a virgin AND a minister's daughter. We're one schoolgirl outfit from the dear penthouse trifecta
My penis has a 100% approval rating. He has never received a formal complaint. If you'd like to file one, you can go fuck yourself.
Just found a condom on my floor from last weekend. 2/2. The scavenger hunt is over.
he has a party story that rivals our "PTSD- soldier-with-a-knife" party story. I'm pretty sure this is part of some prophecy.
If I was a guy I'd keep a condom in my pocket, in my wallet, in my backpack, in my car, in my shoe, behind my fucking ear
Dude, you got arrested and then texted 911 to tell them you'd been kidnapped with a screenshot of your current location.
Will you be super villain lesbian lovers with me for halloween?
ah lol cocaine is strange when I dose I feel like an elephant running through a grocery store
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