Is it bad that my booty call's snoring was more interesting than the sex we had last night?
this girl is running around outside screaming, it's creaming on me! it's creaming on me. I totally have to find my video camera
Don't worry, there is no such thing as a fat, old or ugly blow job.
Jerking off has been your answer to everything tonight.
Ok see being that I'm not present or participating your vague texts "neeeeed that" and "vagina" leave a lot to question.
I hope my shame shaped pee stain outside your door goes away soon.
For the amount of money I just spent on my dogs toe, I could have fucked the entire B squad at a low end strip club.
why can't I meet attractive men at the places I like to hang out? like books a million. or the liquor store.
I just faked an orgasm while masturbating. Idk what exactly my problem is but I have one
I taught a straight girl about grindr today. She showed me tinder. It was like some sexual cultural exchange program
I am seriously only coming over if there are McNuggets. I want 10 bitch. Honey mustard.
You said "this is only my eighth drink" with like 6 separate drinks
Yeah I'm just gonna stay here and spread my horniness to the world.
On a scale of 1 to 10, with 1 being “good” and 10 being “banging a student’s father”, how bad is it that I’m banging a student’s father?
I’m planning a Pharmasutra for the first night after the pandemic ends
Pharmasutra?
Me + Chris + cocktails + viagra = night of orgasms
Randomize
