Its ok relax. i can tell ur gonna start raggin. talk 2 u next week
is the shake weight an appropriate valentine's day present?
You weren't lying about those ceramics students giving the best hand jobs.
Come help me clean. I know we won't be getting our security deposit back...but I would like to move out with our dignity.
I feel awful
Physically or morally
Physically. The only immoral thing I did was steal money from strippers while they gave me lapdances.
I don't know how I feel about the stuff we got from that guy. Me and Monty are driving through town listening to static at full blast...
I told him id do anything with him and he said angry pirate? So I said okay. Never seeing him again.
What's an angry pirate?
You dont want to know. If someone offers say no. Never ever do the angry pirate. Ever.
No night ever ends well that starts with "you know what this needs? More tequila".
I walked in and all four of you were covering your heads under the blanket singing waterslides in unison.
...I think i just fell in love with a random undergrad at first glance. He was the awkward young adult version of captain hook. Dear god i need to get off this campus.
Look,the guy had sex w/a Canadian prison guard on the deck of a cruise ship,he could blow any second.
she was puking nonstop out of the car window in the rain during our hour long drive back, we got lot of honks
I just had sex with a man wearing a Darth Vader helmet....he pressed the voice button the whole time that said "I am your father". I don't think I can ever come back from this
Uber southern baptist grandma and uber flaming cousin just got into an argument about whether jesus is OK with gay marriage. Aren't these things only supposed to happen at Thanksgiving?
eating pizza to get the taste of dick out my mouth wby
Randomize
