Literally just as i started to cum the church bells next ot my house began to ring. either it was the most epic timing ever or god was watching and congratulating me
Jager Bombs are cool, but hydrogen bombs are where it's at. Sparks and jager equals instant black out, I mistakenly tried eating a cigarette thinking it was a nacho.
beer for lunch on the first day back to school.... too soon?
He noticed there was ketchup on his shirt and took it off. Noticed there were people there and put it back on. Then he saw the ketchup again. He must have taken his shirt on and off about 6 times
I'm fucked up. I can't drink anymore. We stole a cat.
haha she has always seemed a little off. when i met her i was told she was the queen slut. and she had a crown on at the time. it seemed appropriate.
I guess birthday shots aren't always the answer
She couldn't understand why my walking in on her 70 year old parents ruined any chance of a boner for at least an hour. I think she's too slow for me to fornicate with.
When you wake up on the bus on 139th but you're staying at 6th
133 to go
But can mardi gras accurately capture the essence of my tiny rage?
we should most definitely have a fire extinguisher in the apartment. like... for sure
My friends got engaged today and I learned the techniques of going upside down on a stripper pole. I'm not really sure who won...
I'll be wearing lingerie and holding a bottle of bourbon so pick up whatever food you think goes with that
She was topless, yelling this is Sparta, threatening to push her dad into the sewer. I am pretty sure she won't be at school.
Your friend was nice but you didn't have to bang her in my kitchen...just sayin.
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