Really? You have stories that rival having a threesome with the two best friends of the guy your kinda seeing? Thats impressive.
The ratio was 19 to 1 and the 1 was lauren so it didn't even count.
You passed out in the bathroom with the door locked. Had to take a shit in your litter box. Don't worry, your cat buried it for me.
We turned everything surrounding BP and the oil leak into a "that's what she said" drinking game. We've been drunk for a month
There's 12 honey baked hams in my fridge. I vaguely recalled you organizing a "Midnight Ham Run."
Also, I had a dream I had a ray gun and woke up holding my dick.
creepy tank top guy is at campus health. he's hitting on a girl recovering from a panic attack.
You disappeared for an hour and showed back up with handfuls of bratwursts and yelled at my girlfriend that if she didn't eat them, that the nazis win
We started pregaming at 8. It's 11, and her only 11:11 wish is to be sober. It's hard to not love her.
Well you were already wet from trying to drink straight from the faucet, so I just put you in the bathtub with a pillow and called it a night
did you just try to prove your straightness by quoting a lady gaga song?
so he's a sleeptalker.
yeah??
"Mitochondria is the powerhouse of the cell" right in my ear. 2 am.
she broke a 50 dollar bottle of alcohol. then passed out in front of her car and got sprayed by a skunk
Alex thinks he can revoke my dick privileges haha.
Isn't he the one getting all the privileges ?
Just got my second shot
Baller. We’re going to be knee deep in strippers and coke in 10 days
Randomize
