i have a reoccuring irrational fear i'm going to walk in on my dad masterbating. Night.
We just walked into this party and immediately got handed a grilled cheese sandwhich....
He tagged himself in all of my pictures so he would get a notification if someone commented on it.
Restraining orders are what college is about.
They both told everyone they fell in a mud puddle
Oh they definetly fell in the mud, repeatedly, on top of each other
The bartender just started bringing me gin and tonic in a pint glass to save himself trips...
All I can see in the pic you sent is white shorts...
Thas my pasnts in colleg! Tehy glow! AND SMELL LIKE BEER!
He came up behind me making dolphin noises in my ear when I noticed a collection of hors d'ouevres from the reception earlier in his jacket pocket
I will never doubt you again...he IS perfect for you
Best part of having a window in your office is that you can leave through it when you shit your pants at work.
If he's the sort of guy that will fuck in a public restroom, he's the sort of guy that will cheat on his gf. I'm goin for it.
the mexican frat downstairs started singing this mariachi song, then out of nowhere some dude busts out a trumpet and plays along. is this even real?
He just walked from his house to mine. Walked in and asked for a hug and then left.. And he's sober.
And then he dove into my vagina like scrooge mcduck into a room of gold
the second she challenged me to mario kart drinking game i knew i was in love
I'm definitely closer to having sex in every building on campus than I am to having a post-graduation career/plan/future. Unless that future is getting fucked in lots of buildings. I got that shit on lock down.
What did you do with the dog when you went into the club?
coat checked
Randomize
