my penis was classy and tasteful, i don't know what her problem was.
You just kept saying over and over "Tell me I won't do it." Someone finally told you you won't. You did. Welcome to herpes.
tonight's goal was "most regrettable decision" and you bring wine coolers?
you only had a canadian ten, but you said it was all good cuz you would just by molson.
Haha o man how much you've grown. From beer bonging wine and wearing cargo shorts to well, beer bonging beer and wearing cargo shorts
She kept chasing him yelling thief, because he drank some of her drink. That was at 8, it got worse.
WHY DO YOU ALWAYS PUT THE PLUG IN THE SINK BEFORE YOU PUKE IN IT
She straight up told me, "I don't care if he films as long as he's quiet." You sure you can't find the camera?
After a roaring rendition of Jay-Z's "99 Problems but a bitch ain't one" I ended up making her cry on her birthday.
My mouth is so dry that I'm about to put a straw in a jar of Vaseline and chug. This all addi diet definitely has its ups and downs.
I used to think not drinking while I was pregnant was not gonna be a problem, but I now I'm like shit that's a long time
I'm gonna face reality, tomorrow morning is not on my hungover agenda.
He's like a computer from 2001 in a 2014 world. It just doesn't work. Lots of glitches.
Just remember, it's never too late to make a porno
Well when I woke up this morning I didn’t think I’d be masturbating to my own LinkedIn profile today but here we are
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