I would have done the walk of shame but I couldnt walk
Pissed on my Blackberry at the Astros game. Wish me luck explaining that one at work.
I just accidently sent my poop smells like vodka to 27 people in my phone book
Sundresses, hats, and big glasses. That is the greatest trick the devil ever taught women.
I swear if I see one more guy in a v-neck and fedora I'm going to punch someone in the balls. This is philly, you're not supposed to look like Ryan Cabrera
You kept telling that ginger girl, "it's not your fault, it's not your fault, it's not your fault."
she asked me which thongs i though her boyfriend would like best. fuck the friend zone
you should break up with her....give her the gift of reality
Your expertise in crazy bitches is needed.
I sleep with the gay men, they no longer have questions about their sexuality. No strings attached at it's finest and i get new shopping buddies out if it. It really is a win win situation.
You are my idol.
I may or may not go. send a pic of a nipple so I know how much fun you're having
The cop used the word "belligerent" 16 times in the report. You get to bail him this time. I'm not up for it.
You are one with the wind and sky, bro.
Yeah, I mean I'll probably fuck him regardless but I'm trying to be a lady about it.
Waxing your own asshole is awkward and difficult at best.
Randomize
