i wish they had a 'baby daddy' section in halmark, like, "hey, i know you didn't want this child and you're doing a horrible job, but here's to making you cry on fathers day"
this girl looks like the female version of brooke hogan
now I regret adding my aunt on facebook. she remnded me today on my wall about the importance of checking my stools for blood since I have diaherria.
he just quoted gucci mane to try and get me to give him head.
two words: fractured penis. two more: emergency room.
I have come to the conclusion that if you don't fulfill your life ambitions you should go into porn
I'm taking it from the chunk of pizza I just pulled out my hair that we ate pizza last night?
who am I kidding I don't have any dignity. Plus we're not doing a porno, we're just doing random things naked
Convinced lucas all the eggs in the fridge are fertilized and now he's crying.
I just saw a girl on crutches doing a walk of shame. She is either super dedicated, or her night didn't go as planned.
He was uncircumcised
It was like inception. A penis within a penis within a penis
Drunk field day, hangover yoga and sober archery practice
My mom found my empty case that I hid in my room and just said "now why don't you be a responsible underaged drinker and throw it in the recycling" and walked away. I'm in shock.
I have 2 bottles of wine, a sharpie, and a panda mask and don't have to wake up early. Can u do the math on this?
Campus scavenger hunt! and by scavenger hunt I mean all the pharmacies are sold out of Plan B.
Randomize
