she went to type in rate my professors and rate my pussy came up in my recent searches. needless to say, i will likely be masturbating to the aforementioned site tonight.
had to split buying plan b over two cards. I will no longer challenge people to get on my level
Whatevss it will be funn .. Hopefully no one projectile vomits on the wall again.. Its kinda become a tradition though
Did you mean to cry when you finished last night? Or were you just that drunk?
I'm over my straight phase. They all turned out to be idiots and none of them got me off. I'm going back to hot girls with strap ons.
I didn't know how wild the party was going to be until one girl brought her pet raccoon
I had to get my boss birth control a work today. I knew going to ASU would come in handy in my career someday.
You threw up in your own shoe then wore it home
She was way too drunk so I dropped her off at her house and smoked a huge blunt with her mom.
I am the fucking FIFTH wheel. How do you think it's going?
FUCK YOU VODKA I'M TRYING TO ADULT RIGHT NOW
First of all she starred talking about God which immediately killed my buzz
the wedding party just walked in to the song eye of the tiger. i'm getting drunk.
On another note, I think my upstair neighbor is having sex. How awkward would it be if I showed up to her door with a bag of Chipotle?
What part of “the stripper has a gun, we need to leave” is confusing you? She’s drunk, she’s fucking crazy and NOW SHE’S PACKING HEAT!
Randomize
