How long until YT realizes that it's a man?
if your leaving for the weekend then im farting on your pillow
i mean you're really good at taking the morning after pill...so you could put that on your resume..
yeah, i think fast in a bad sitatuion and am able to react with appropriate measures
Are you okay?
Don't worry. Self-respect preserved. My speech was Grey's quality... I made him cry.
Is there a card that says "Sorry I got drunk at your Christmas party and tried to steal your monogrammed hand towels so that I could give you something nice for Christmas"?
I saw him coke blaxckout on the subway at 9 this morning yelling at people callig himself the gatekeeper.
Her roommate texted her and told her that her cat died. Now she's double-fisting bottles of wine while howling and wailing her dead cat's name. Not how I pictured this booty call.
No no, there's drunk and then there's 'spooning with lawn gnomes' drunk.
What the fuck is wrong with your family? Why do you have unfrosted pop tarts.
I think Vodka is my favorite. Everything else ties for second.
What's dad's email?
askmom@cause.idk
I mean we don't talk anymore but I still see him around wearing that sweater he stole from me after we had sex
I can see your house from here
Get off of his fucking roof
I am certain that you would be a mere freckle on the behemoth of slutty that has taken place at this complex.
I guess I’m only into threesomes at Halloween, because I just woke up next to “Marilyn Monroe” and “Joe DiMaggio” in their condo
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