She looked like Sean Connery with cleft lip. So to answer your question, yes I put it in her butt.
How do you get a 7 on a pregnancy test?
I gained confidence after I found out she was a lesbian. At least that way I could flirt with her and convince her to buy me taco bell after the bar
she's living proof man. somebody has literally pissed in the gene pool
I feel like I just rode a horse, did a million jumping jacks, ran a marathon and need a carton on cigarettes. best sex hands down... EVER
It feels like one of my ribs evaporated.
The bet was for naked jumping jacks. And it back fired, she just laughed at all the slapping noise.
It was his birthday this weekend. I had to carry him 6 blocks, in 3 inch heels. The entire time he was trying to molest me, eat my face, and try to stop every two feet to tie his shoe. He would light a cigarette, forget about it, almost burn everyone, throw it out, then decide he wanted to smoke. He kept repeating that he trusts me with his life.
...Wow...
I could be a kindergarten teacher
The 3 year old I'm babysitting is the first guy to tell me he loves me sober in like 2 years
Thank you. Next to bondage, soft American Apparel t-shirts are the best things you've taught me about.
If one of us has to be polite I guess I won't sneak out while he's in the shower
I should become her mentor. Get her life back together for her
You mean sponsor?
22 is way too old to still be having "thank god I think I'm getting my period" days
Dude I used amphetamines responsibly today though. I snorted one in the am for work and then chewed one in the pm for other work. I'm an adult.
I only spent $42 at the bar last night, it's some sort of miracle.
you do remember it was dollar beer night, right?
That answers my next five questions
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