somebody snuck up and got me drunk
I'm at work and it's 1:30. I need a beer. is that bad?
Welcome to every minute of my life.
So Ive decided I have serious issues. Im walking around the school with a bag labeled booze money collecting from people while slightly hungover at 8:20 in the morning, and nobody is questioning me.
My mom is making me buy a single zucchini, I look like someone who can't afford a dildo
Outside the community dumpsters: beer bottles and a carton of orange juice. Looks like we were here.
yesterday, he said he didn't trust me around his daughter because "if she was wrapped in rolling paper u'd smoke her." yup.
COME GET ME FR THE HOSPIGAL'!!!!!
I couldn't sleep so I took 4 shots of vodka and promptly threw up in the sink. Happy Thursday
he forgot we were at my place and not his so he tried kicking me out of my own apartment by saying "so, you can go whenever you want...."
He says he invented a new sex move called The Redbird that we can only do when I'm on my period. Should I be concerned?
You have set the bar insurmountably high with apple pie and buttsex.
I'd just like to inform you. That when I was at bvj the first day I was blackout drunk by noon. Get on past Chelsea's level like now. Do it for present Chelsea
Let's just say his oral game was lacking. Hell, lacking is too nice of a word to describe it.
I'm so stoned. We're making Josh's sister bake us brownies. She's so small and pixie like. Her brownies make me cry tears of happy.
Pillow talk was a high five, this morning she made dinosaur muffins for the house. I love chapel hill
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