I just did my online traffic school at the bar. No biggie.
no. you're not making a beach trip out of my abortion.
No it was after you showed us his fraternaty letters shaven out of your pubes
I like my landing strip. Makes me feel sophisticated.
What you did last night can never be called sophisticated. I don't care how you trim your pubes.
I just banged your sister. Thats what you get for takibg my lunch money in 2 grade, boom, boom fiyyaa powaa
Juss got out of jail; shes still in there tryin to sing her abc's backwards bc the cops neva asked her too... Whebever she gets to t she starts singin the tequilla song
Also, I might need your help for a prank involving a hand puppet, a coke bottle, double-sided tape, and my dick...
WHY ARE THERE NO BLACK EMOJIS? I CAN NEVER PROPERLY IDENTIFY MYSELF.
Yep. I'm going to buy a sex toy and a LARP prop on the same trip. Welcome to my life.
he kept insisting he didn't have my number, so i called his phone and my number came up as "yeaaaaaaaaah!"
If you don't see me at the bar tomorrow night, I was most likely captured by the communists.
It's okay. I think we're back on. I just went on a dog walk with him n blew him on a sidewalk
He asked me to come stay with him so he could "see that ass and watch Harry Potter."
Is it acceptable to respond to a declaration of love with 'and I love your dick'? Asking for a friend who shares a name and possibly a phone number with me. Entirely coincidental.
It was just another case of she fell in love I fell asleep.
Randomize
