She knew it was going down when I had her search for "condoms" in my iPhone Maps.
It's been five and a half years since she and my brother stopped dating. I feel like that's a long enough grace period. Going for it.
I just handed the barista at Starbucks a panty liner instead of my card....maybe I should upgrade this Tall to a Venti...
I slept with him because his girlfriend should know better than to be with him given is reputation. It was like sex and a lesson all in one.
I think I just ate eggs off of a plate covered in cocaine.
Hey. I can't work your space dryer so I'm wearing your blanket home. I'll get my clothes later. Fun party!
As we have told you before, the first rule of hook-up bingo is we don't talk about hook-up bingo
if youre gonna throw up it might as well taste like christmas :S
He fucked me in one of the back rooms at the club then gave me an altoid. I have mixed feelings about it still.
I know it sounds cheesy, but i think both me and her mum know they are "thanks for being so cool about finding nudes of your daughter on the camera" flowers
Jarrod's passed out on the chair with a cup of milk and I've been staring him down in an attempt to use telepathy to make him spill it. Attempts unsuccessful.
She pregamed while taking a shower. Came out clean and drunk.
Just made my first drink, took 2 sips feel like god
They're doing CPR to someone in the middle of Victoria's Secret. Way to block the undies, damnit!
Also, in case they didn’t tell you… there is a chicken living in your old room… so I would assume cleaning that is now on them
Randomize
