Nice 2 c u showing ur bro some affection
well i had to explain to their mom why the kids i babysit for won't stop repeating the phrase "nice juicy guido"
I can practically hear my vag and my conscience fighting.
I know everyone screamed lady cop instead of cops. I wanted to apologize to her for our chauvinism
The best part is when you puked in your slurpree and the 7 eleven guy still made you pay for it
Shared a jello shot with her mom last night. then she tucked me in and took of my shoes for me
Not much, just your average college male Sunday cleaning period blood out of the carpet.
Tell me you're kidding.
Besides scarred, I'm not much of anything right now.
I'm silent, like a masturbating ninja.
Homeboy was juggling while taking bong rips. Of course he got laid.
Strip club for my birthday. And none of this discrimination shit. We're going to a guys one and girls one. Go get your singles.
I only had ten dollars. So leave it to Katie to somehow makeout with the bartender, on his shift mind you, and get free drinks.
I mean of all the things to be cockblocked by, Taco Bell is pretty high on the list
He told me he wished he could shrink down to a small size so he could live inside my cleavage
Vodka for breakfast. With a side of Frankenberries. Don't judge me.
I'm so hungry and so lazy that I'm seriously considering ripping into that packet of cream cheese in my nightstand.
Randomize
