Mom is telling us about the time she drank her own breast milk. Help.
I need some transition time from spring break.. can we day drink between classes this week?
College students should never be allowed to have snow days. Never.
Just had a tv talk show interview in my mirror. Got into to some pretty heavy shit man, would have made good viewing.
Taking shots of gin by myself out of TMNT glasses and chasing with bites of chocolate cake. AMERICA.
My penis needs a shock collar
im glad im back to a point in my life where i have enough sex to sometimes be offered and be like naw im good.
I'm not sure what exactly you were planning, but you kept yelling that we were going to need a lot of midgets and a lawyer.
it wasn't a total waste of time; I mean how often do you get to play scotch pong?
.....fair enough
this temple that is my body is starting to crumble and turn into ruins
I just had to close my blinds so my neighbors wouldn't see me drinking a beer at 9 am. GO CHIEFS!
She stopped me mid sex to ask if she could finish my ramen, I've found the one.
I hope a pyrotechnic goes off in your asshole and seals it shut for life.
Me too.
You ran full speed into the glass door with your Patron and yelled "FEEL THE RHYTHM, FEEL THE RHYME"
not only did he puke in his mouth and hold it.. He also sneezed while doing this
Randomize
