I woke up this morning and "The Wood" was on tv. Touche TBS, touche.
And surprisingly enough iPhone does not have an app for Russian mail order brides.
They just came out of my bathroom and asked if I could spare them a condom. See. Its a good thing I have some.
I can't believe I had to convince you to not drink butter.
Agreed. That's like a marriage. For better or worse, till death do us part. I will hold your head over a toilet
If there's so much of a hint of a whisper from somebody I didn't tell personally, I will cut off your balls with a chainsaw, cauterize the wound with a flaming rusty spoon, feed your balls to your dog, and feed them to you when he shits them out, capiche?
Clearly the ONLY reason why you were voted employee of the month is because of your upside-down beer funneling skills.
Did he ask you why you were in his back yard Sunday night?
By the way I peed in a mug last night cause you were in the bathroom and im pretty sure it is still in the kitchen.
So what exactly does one do when my driver gets a DUI and is now arrested and I'm still hiding in the trunk?
It was Thanksgiving sex. I was thankful for it. Need I say more?
Well we found Mark's missing underwear. They're pinned up on Mike's trophy wall.
You don't feed me, fuck me, or fulfill me.
well you're talking to a woman who had glorious sex less than 24 hrs ago so my opinion is biased.
I don't feel like that was meant as a compliment, but really still feels like one
Randomize
