Facials are how you say "I love you" in porn star.
She made a guy cry in the bar. I will have her, oh yes, I will have her..
I can practically hear my vag and my conscience fighting.
All I remember is holding on to the elevator asking it politely to stop spinning
just walk of shamed past a man riding a bike. RIDING A BIKE. what a wholesome life he must lead.
In a car. Threw up in my mouth. Haven't said a word in 10 minutes.
We made the bar tender tell us how he proposed to his girlfriend. In detail. While we made gushing noises. We are embarrassments to females everywhere
If you would give me the chance we might have the two separate pieces of the greatest fuck puzzle ever.
We have to use a contraceptive. God help the world if another one of us comes into fruition.
Monday morning margarita madness at ny house. Yes before wheel of fortune. Yes day drinking.
There was a sweat stain in the shape of a fast chick with low standard on your bathroom floor
I think its awesome that i just got you to cheer for sex
Well sex is awesome. Sex deserves cheers.
You yelled This cop is arresting me for possession! Possession of MARIJUANA!!", everyone cheered, and you let him handcuff you and take you away.
I told her it would be awesome. We are all the same people. One of us would always be drunk, one of us would always be hooking up, and one of us would always be crying into a pancake.
I got some blow and a hand job from one of the strippers. So I guess I'm getting over the divorce.
Randomize
