Hopefully the semester will be over before she has a breakout. Then I can just avoid the situation entirely
i took an adderall last night to write a paper. i ended up watching 7 hours of roseanne and couldn't look away
Anytime you have a hot, flirty, married woman that wants to ride you like a horse and slap your ass, you've got to do it.
Yeah, but four times?
This will be amazing. Plus he's going to do a line of cocaine off of the other guy's ass.
Also, at 1:30 I emailed myself saying, "are you there Margaret? It's me, god"
Is there a fine for having sex in the back of a zipcar?
It's not my fault you have a job and can't get drunk on Tuesday's. Don't take your frustrations out on me!
I hurt so much. Not in the emotional way, but in the I went to dive bars sorta way.
He simply fell in the fire, rolled out and continued to finish his bottle of vodka. Everyone else instantly sobered up just watching it.
I am on my way right now and I SWEAR TO GOD IF YOU EAT MY BURRITO YOU WILL NEVER SEE MY TITS AGAIN
Fuck you, dude, I'm not sharing my weed anymore if you're going for the Panthers.
Don't be upset because I bitch slapped you with intelligence
I’m going to have to rewatch all of them. Drugs, man.
Honestly his girlfriend says she hates me cause she thinks im trying to get him to cheat on her with me...she should hate me cause i already accomplished that.
let your parents know i'm sorry i ran around the house pretending their metal detector was a "booze detector"
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