also, did you notice that when he quoted your email he used MLA format?
You compared your dick to a twizzler. In no way, shape, or form is that a turn on.
Woke up un the hot tuv. Climbed out fo the hot tub and fell asleeo. Woke ip again in the hot tub.
My costume is made up of 4 inch heels and a firefighter costume I'm borrowing from the dramatic play area of my Pre-K classroom. I told you I could still be slutty on a teacher's salary.
21st Birthday Idea: liquor store gift registry. Give me a promotion.
i drank out of a bidet.
This is like a relationship, I expect to be mind blown at least once a week.
I can't decide who is the bigger alcoholic: you for opening that bottle of wine just now or me for hearing it in the other room over the air conditioner
Ok but if you die you have to get "I should've listened to Mike" carved into your tombstone
Please come back. She just stuck her bloody band-aid to Zach's face, has a fire extinguisher, and is talking about tornados hiding.
I had tater tots and weed with a stripper at 4am who compared the size of my boob to her head because fuck you my life rocks
Last time I checked he was house sitting for his ex while she was out of town with some new dude. He was crying about how the guy told him to stay out of his whiskey while he was gone. That's whipped
Just cropdusted a little kid that wouldn't get out of my way in Kroger. Welcome to the real world bitch.
I think i got my first booty call. it was like she came to my house. sex. leave.
Congratulations. Welcome to the wonderful world of quick dirty secret sexy time.
thanks... i think. haha
Legit sprained my cooter. No joke. Icing her down as we speak.
Randomize
