Picking up third year law school girls is like MILF hunting for beginners
I need to surround myself with more reliable stoners...
know what turns me on? long, stringy hair on a pasty looking girl with an overstuffed backpack and kneepads over her jeans in case she falls off her scooter
your less of a man for seeing that
I need to stop researching the drugs I do on Wikipedia. The parts about abuse and dependency hit too close to home
By the way, playing "guess who I had sex with last night" was a great way to start a Thursday, or any day
She seems less like a roommate, and more like a homeless person who snuck into your apartment.
I'm going to fix your towel rack. I broke it while I was dancing on it.
His pick-up lines are quotes from Doctor Who. Of course I fucked him.
I just woke up naked next to a GetGo sandwich and I can hear my cats are eating my combos. So that's my life.
You have better ratings than Crest. Only 4/5 dentists recommend it. You have 8/9 recommendation for your blowjob skills.
You want to know how I feel? I feel like Cady Heron pushed me in front of a bus last night.
Is there something wrong with us? Seriously.
Possibly, but I'd rather not fix it.
Dude I'm drinking alone and watching cartoons. How is it that someone as hot as me is doing this.
Hope you’re getting action boo.
Definitely no. I woke up next to a bag of McDonald's.
ALL I WANT IN MY MOUTH IS A GLORIOUS COCK SMOTHERED IN CHOCOLATE. DICK AND CHOCOLATE; IS IT TOO MUCH FOR A GIRL TO ASK FOR?!
Randomize
